Miguel* was not happy to be placed in a group home (Diamond L Ranch) and was very defiant and would proclaim his gang status loudly. After a while, he slowly began to relax into Ettie Lee’s rules and came to understand that even he had to follow them. He still, however, was volatile and would fly into rage-full tantrums at the slightest provocation.
As his court date approached Miguel was anxious and he checked a re-checked with his probation officer to see if he was recommending his release and every time his probation officer assured him that he was. So, on the day Miguel went to court he had said all of his goodbyes to staff and peers and he was carrying his suitcase full of the belongings he had accumulated in six months. By the time his court date came around he had earned a phenomenal 40 high school credits, quit smoking marijuana, clean drug test, and he had bonded with one of the child care staff -- something Miguel tells us is unheard of for him.
The staff found it bitter sweet to see him go but we all cheered him on and wished him nothing but the best. So, imagine our surprise when Miguel came back that afternoon. The judge had decided, for reasons only he knows, that he was not impressed (his words) with Miguel’s program and he told him he was going to have to stay 6 more months, with a 3 month check in. Miguel was devastated.
Miguel considered AWOL’ing, but instead used the coping skills he learned at Ettie Lee and came to the conclusion that if he did, his mom, who has serious health issues, would be badly hurt, and when he got caught he quite possibly would be sent to the Californian Youth Authority for many more months. He used additional coping skills that allowed him to tolerate the disappointment and to accept his circumstances.
Miguel is back for at least 3 months and he has an excellent attitude. For now he is focusing on his school work and getting all of the high school credits he can so when he is released he will be on track to graduate high school.
This week Miguel applied to be a graduate level resident at Diamond L Ranch which is a position of leadership and role modeling at the home. Six months ago Miguel would have ridiculed and scorned this idea. Although not chosen to take on this role at this time, Miguel cheerfully accepted to take on a few milestones before he is ready to take on this level of responsibility. But more importantly, Miguel was able to manage the anger that has always come with life’s disappointments.
* to protect the child's confidentiality we are not using the child's name
